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The Weight

I could feel the weight of her world upon my shoulders
Yes, upon my shoulders the weight of her world
I flashback to once upon a time when I was a little girl
Brought into this world by a mother and a father
My mother and my father
I was brought into this world
A world that was created by my Father
A world that was created long before my birth
Long before my delivery, a time before my worries
You know they say to practice what you preach
And I teach, I was taught from birth to love
Yet, at times I feel that love doesn’t love me back
Instead, the kind of love that I attract
is the kind of love that attacks
And smacks and hurts and bruises one’s ego
Making you second guess your first thought
And ignore your second and third thoughts
Makes you at times question your whole entire existence
A lot of pieces of my heart, tend to be missing
So yes, I could feel the weight of her world upon my shoulders
For I, for I, me, I am not getting younger, yet older
I feel paranoid, as if watching, looking over my shoulder
Wondering if I was brought into this world to be
Someone else’s misery who loves company
How does one feel alone in a house filled with people
How does one’s mind, house so many thoughts of evil
Deeper, I want to be deeper, or do I really
I feel the love that was proclaimed to me and I feel silly
I feel the lust that was once given to me
Months of passionless days
Months of love that was never made yet lost
And yet I still crave, the taste of lips of dark
Words that use to spill admiration from those very lips to my heart
Just to kiss one last time and feel
As though it all wasn’t just a dream, and still
I sit here left to pay the ultimate cost
Who’s the boss? Not I
For I am in disguise, better yet demise
Feeling a shame, wondering again why I let you make me cry
I feel the weight of her world, simply because she isn’t happy with me
And I am the least bit happy with she
So she takes all of her frustrations and anger out on me
And I am left with the confusion of a conclusion to just let it be
Marcia S. McNeill ©2015
www.wordsbymarcia.com

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